What Sucks

You know what really sucks? A lot of stuff. But you know what sucks even more? Being a butthole. So knock it off. It's not cool and it makes me want to hit a bullseye with a bow and arrow. Yeah, it's that bad.

I believe that there are different types of people in mother-cheesing America. More directly, I want to talk about some of these assholes who attend my school:

So to start off, I want to talk about the people who get really irrationally angry and do irrational things like eating in fucking class (bitch). I like to call these people The People Who Need to Pipe the Fuck Down. They do this thing when you say something about someone (be it awesome or bad) that always gets twisted into some kind of insult involving penis and vag. You could literally look at these people weird and the situation will quickly become something Lucifer made up to fuck with people. I don't usually like these people (I don't like them ever) generally because they scare the actual darn out of me. Once I made the horrifying mistake of asking one of these people for the time. That is when I began to get yelled at in some sort of weird coded language that only made a shit of sense. I'm fucking telling you, people talking in chat speak is very real and very fudging confusing. The only thing more confusing than people talking in chat speak is one of the helping teacher's beards, which is weird and patchy and pubey but he can't be younger than 30. When these people go off with little chat phrases the most confusing part is that I don't understand 90% of what the shit is that they're saying. The only phrases I can understand are "omfg gtfo" and "wtf uf" and only because I have a lot of totally, really, super gay friends.

Moving on to the people I call I Can Make a Cool Rap Out of Any Situation people. THESE PEOPLE SUCK. I don't understand why they think that the things that they have to say on the matter need to be turned into a smooth and groovey rap which can be actually spoken in words in the human language. These people will sometimes walk into a room and say things like, "Do you know who I am? Do you, do you know how I am?" As they point at random stuff like it's going to go, "Omfg sorry I didn't know Snoop African Wild Cat Jr. was in town! Hell yeah, I know who you is!" I was sitting in the hall once because I finished all my work (because I'm perfect) so they put me in the hall with an iPad and told me to "study" (I am a teenager, do you really think if you give me an ipad and put me under 0 surveillance I'm going to study? Are you developmentally disabled?). I was sitting there "studying" when this kid walked down the hall carrying like 5 whole boxes of light bulbs (probably because Ms. Frizzle got really pissed because Ralphie peed his pants again so she broke all the lights) all the while "rapping",

"These lights are gonna shine in your face, yeah these light are gonna shine in your face!"

He kept fucking saying that like 40 times until I couldn't hear him! Like actually what the funk?

I would next like to talk about the "weird" kids who flip out over shit like squirrels and blurt out words like "random!" and "squirrels!" Yes I'm talking about the the middle school poser assholes. I just call these people Comic Sans because really, if there's two things that super piss me off, it's these people  and comic sans. In fact these are the kind of people that would use comic sans to write fucking reports on the black plague. These people like to dye strips of their hair pink and purple because it's "unique" and lets them express themselves.

...
Fuck those people.



- Ed
p.s. I'm sleepy. If anyone wanted to know how I was doing, the status is the following:
Sleepy.